


Broken

by Annsabella



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Drama, F/M, Heartbreak, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25938058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annsabella/pseuds/Annsabella
Summary: Chakotay had opened his heart four times and each time he was hurt. Could he possibly find the strength to try one more time?
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Broken

Their breakup had been especially cruel on Chakotay. All their talks of staying together upon reaching Earth, evaporated once they’d crossed the threshold and into the alpha quadrant. Well, now he was four for four. A man can only allow himself to be vulnerable, especially to a woman and have his heart broken so many times before it closes itself off for good. He thought he would have learned that lesson well after Seska. She had played him like a puppet, only seeing what he wanted. 

Before her, there was Enna, a Vulcan. They had met at the academy and was the reason he’d always been suspicious of Vulcan’s ever since. She was young, beautiful, and completely rebellious toward her species ideas of logic. When he began dating her, she had shown him a world of emotions he’d never known before or since. He had fallen in love with her, and their love was intense. She didn’t want an arranged marriage as her parents wished, she wanted to marry for love, and she’d wanted him. 

After their first year ended at the academy, she returned to Vulcan at her parents’ behest. He wouldn’t hear from or see her for another year even though he’d tried to make contact. Her parents' calm demeanor when they spoke with him would only serve to keep the wound open, explaining that Enna needed further instruction regarding her mental discipline, which she could only receive on Vulcan. If her studies went well, she would be allowed to return to the academy.

There was nothing he could do except focus on his work, using it as a means of distracting himself from their forced separation. All the extra effort he’d put forth got him high marks from his professors, but it didn’t alleviate the pain in his heart. When she returned the following year, she was cold, distant. Nothing like the woman he’d fallen in love with. Whatever mental training she’d endured over the year left her as impartial and analytical as any other Vulcan, leading her to break off their relationship.

At the time, he didn’t think he’d ever recover, entering a deep depression that his professors and friends found concerning. He tried to distance himself from everyone, continuing to focus only on his work, it was the only thing that provided any kind of solace. When the year ended, he was informed that his homeworld had been attacked, his parents killed by Cardassians. It was then he left Starfleet and began life as a maquis, giving him the means to focus his rage, hurt, and disappointment. 

Seska had encouraged those feelings, making him feel even more isolated. Of course, he found out why once they found themselves lost in the delta quadrant. However, even during that time, realized that as much as she was manipulating him for information, she had also developed feelings for him. It explained why she tried to impregnate herself with his DNA, why she had gone to such lengths to keep Maj Culla from executing him the moment he’d been captured. She had fallen for him in much the same way he had fallen for her before her betrayal. 

He felt used, bitter, angry, and embarrassed for having allowed her to manipulate him on such a personal level, and how upset he was with himself having allowed her to use him. It almost felt like history was repeating itself. The only difference, Seska knew what she was doing when Enna had not. 

Then there was Kathryn Janeway, and the three months they’d spent on New Earth. As much as he’d sworn, he wouldn’t allow himself to fall for anyone again, he was just as powerless to stop it. Always seeming to fall for the wrong woman had become a trend he was fast getting used to. Here was another intelligent, beautiful, and vibrant woman that was untouchable. He’d tried to squash any feelings other than friendship, which was impossible considering they were the only two people on the planet. 

His intentions had been pure, only wanting to help make life easier for them both, trying to help her come to terms with the reality of their situation. He tried to resist the easy friendship that seemed to be forming between them, wanting to keep things cordial. It wasn’t until that night he’d seen her wrapped in a towel, standing with her hair pinned up, the moonlight reflecting off her skin that he found himself considering something he’d been actively resisting. When he’d been caught staring, there was an immediate awkwardness from then on. 

The incident had only served to fuel her desire to find a cure, whether the idea of something more between them frightened her or simply made her uncomfortable he didn’t know. He didn’t want to indulge the thoughts he’d had about her. Desperately trying to quell any feelings other than friendship, knowing that the path would only lead to further pain and disappointment, and he’d be damned if he would allow himself to feel that way again. 

The night after the plasma storm changed everything between them. She was devastated by the loss of her research, knowing it was the only way they might ever be allowed to leave the planet. His heart went out to her. All the talk they’d had about her giving up her research in the weeks before this event had been done with the best intentions. She was obsessed, something he knew quite a bit about, and didn’t want her left feeling broken the same way he had. If he could convince her to give up on her own, then it would circumvent the pain she’d eventually feel if it had been ripped cruelly away from her. 

There was also another more selfish reason for trying to convince her, loneliness. He didn’t have anyone else to talk to, spend his time with. Being alone was fine for a while but eventually, he found himself needing to have a connection. There were only so many projects he could busy himself with before he found himself needing any kind of companionship. He thought that if they could develop a real friendship, it didn’t mean she would have to stop her research but balance her time between the two. However, he had come to learn quickly that she was a woman of focus. She existed in one of two states, all in or all out. 

She had cried that night when she thought he was asleep. He lay there pretending not to hear, knowing she needed this moment of solace, to come to terms with it in her own way. A small part of him was glad it was gone, not because he didn’t want to leave as much as she did, but he had already resigned himself to the knowledge that they never would. She was being forced to confront the sudden change harshly. Another small part of him wanted to take her into his arms and comfort her as he had during the plasma storm, offering support in the face of her pain but resisted. She needed to come to terms with this on her own, in her own way, and in her own time.

He wanted to let her know in some way that he was here for her, that she wasn’t alone. He wasn’t sure how to accomplish this without directly referring to her recent loss, because the loss wasn’t just about the research, he knew that. She was mourning the loss of her fiancé, any hope of getting home, her future. So many of her emotions had been wrapped up in that research, feeding her obsession with it. 

He had tried to keep a respectful distance, making light of the situation as they cleared up and repaired the damage to the shelter. At times, her mind seemed to wander over something he’d said innocently, trying to keep the conversation away from any painful topics, a self-appointed morale officer. 

That evening, as he worked on a carving for the shelter, she was struggling with the consequences of not having been as physically active. As a friend, he offered his massage services, the way he had offered them to his mother when her neck and shoulders began to ache after a hard day’s work. Taking her hair into his hands felt odd. It was something he hadn’t imagined ever doing before or thought he would offer to do again when he considered his previous history. 

Rubbing her shoulders, he tried to just focus on the job. When she released a sigh and whispered how good it felt as she began to relax, something he hadn’t allowed himself to consider began rushing to the surface. The smell of her hair, the closeness of her body to his, the pleasure he had been able to bring her, filled his senses, and left him feeling entranced. She could sense something was different, and the same awkwardness which always rose between them resurfaced. 

She had thanked him, made an excuse to remove herself from the situation by announcing she was going to bed and wished him goodnight. He found himself not wanting her to leave, but unable to say or do anything which wouldn’t make her more uncomfortable than she already was. “Sweet dreams,” where the only appropriate words that surfaced. Feeling she needed to respond replied, “You too,” before heading off to bed.

He had begun to feel something he’d been suppressing for some time. Why did he always seem to fall for intelligent, beautiful, emotionally intense, and or unattainable women? Hadn’t he learned this painful lesson more than once? Why was he doing it again after swearing to himself that he was done with love and romance? Whether or not she would ever see her fiancé again wasn’t the point, it was the feelings she still had for him that mattered. Why shouldn’t they matter? 

He had to find a way out of this, try to refocus and re-establish the friendship he was aiming for and let her know he understood and respected her feelings and that he just got swept up in the moment. This was what he had intended to express until she reemerged from behind the partition, unable to sleep until there was a clear understanding as to how their association needed to proceed, clearly uncomfortable with their previous interaction. 

She hadn’t given him enough time to process his own feelings before demanding to confront them with parameters. So, when he told her his angry warrior story, he hid his feelings in a narrative that made it easier for him to tell her what he was feeling rather than having to say it directly. It was the only thing he could think of on such short notice to save them both from possible embarrassment. It touched her in a way he hadn’t expected, only making it harder for him to crush those budding emotions.

As time went on and their friendship grew, found it harder to stop himself from falling in love with her. He knew it was a mistake, one that would come back to strike at his heart again. He turned out to be right, they were rescued, cured, and he was back to burying his feelings. Rejected again, he resigned himself to a life without love. They cultivated a deep friendship, their time on New Earth having given them the opportunity to get to know each other in a way they never would have otherwise. 

His feelings for her never had a chance to disappear, having to work so closely with each other. There were times when he thought she felt the same way over the years, but they never discussed it. Just before they reached Earth, the ship had been fractured into different time frames. Her younger self had asked him near the end of their little sojourn, how close they got when they started out as enemies. 

The question was innocent enough, she has no idea how reminding him of the situation frustrated and pained him. He told her there were some barriers they never crossed. Her smile looked oddly disappointed, and he found it strange that the question would have even occurred to her considering she’d never left the alpha quadrant. Even the thought of losing her fiancé hadn’t seemed to have given her pause, or maybe she hadn’t thought about it while they were trying to save the ship. Knowing if they succeeded, she wouldn’t remember any of it anyway.

When everything returned to normal, his Kathryn was relentless with her questions. He had tried to play it off, but it was really starting to bother him in ways he hadn’t thought it would. Maybe it was the alcohol, the closeness, and familiarity of their friendship, but he just couldn’t continue to sit there discussing the situation without it continuing to bother him on such a personal level.

She didn’t seem to understand why he needed to leave; it was only around twenty hundred. Their conversations would usually last until around twenty-two hundred, sometimes twenty-three if the subject were of interest. Tonight, however, the discussion kept being steered back into a direction he didn’t want to be reminded of; his feelings too close to the surface. Thankfully, she didn’t bring it up when she saw him again, realizing there was something he didn’t want to talk about, and she was right.

Then there was Seven-of-Nine, the fourth woman he’d never should have allowed himself to care about. When she asked him on a date, he was flattered but apprehensive. In the end, he decided to go along with it, reasoning that her understanding of love was limited at best. It would be safe, a welcome distraction. It was, for a while. Then that old familiar sensation began to rise, finding himself caring about her in ways he shouldn’t. He couldn’t say he was in love, but he had left his feelings exposed, unguarded. He began to feel that she might be his last chance for a relationship, a family.

All the talk of staying together seemed to vanish quickly after they returned to Earth. She just wanted to be friends, realizing that she was using him as a safety net because of her fear. Once she began to accept her new life, her need for him began to wane, leaving him hurt and alone. He never let her see how much it bothered him. 

At this point, he didn’t care much as to what the Federation wanted to do with him. Janeway had fought on behalf of the maquis, arguing they had more than proven themselves to the Federation and should be allowed to live out the rest of their lives in peace. Much debate ensued, but she’d gotten what she wanted, just as she always did.

Starfleet offered to make his rank permanent, even offering a promotion. He respectively declined, needing some time to get his life together. They were accommodating, advising that the offer would remain open should he change his mind. He didn’t think he would but said nothing, only thanking them for their understanding. He left without telling anyone, feeling it was for the best to avoid any awkward encounters with his friends. He didn’t even attend Voyager’s welcome home celebration.

He wanted to move someplace out of the way. Currently, no one was impossible to find, but he wanted a place where no one would think to look for him. This is what led him to move to Japan into the Aokigahara, and what used to be referred to as the suicide forest until a hundred years ago. 

The climate wasn’t bad, ranging from 37 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit. He had gotten permission from the local government to build a home within the forest, having to overcome a lot of red tape. While he’d been waiting on an answer, he spent his time brushing up on his survival skills, getting back to his roots, the way his father had tried to teach him so many years ago. He found that when he really applied himself, he was surprisingly good at it. 

He became a vegetarian when he was ten, just after he’d gone on his first hunt with his father and the tribe. After they had killed the animal and performed the ritual of respect, honoring its sacrifice, he just couldn’t look at meat the same way again. However, now that he would have to live off the land those feelings began to slowly change out of necessity. 

As time passed, he began to study his people’s teachings, language, learning the old stories. He was even planning a trip to go to Columbia to take the same path his father had taken to find the rubber tree people. He hadn’t been keeping track of the days, only the seasons. The days didn’t matter so much anymore when you’re living alone and away from society. He lived the way his tribe lived except for a handful of technology that stayed locked up unless he really needed it. One was a tricorder so he could map out the surrounding area safely. Once he’d done that, it was locked away with the medical equipment. 

The time alone didn’t seem to bother him, he kept himself too busy to think about the life he might have had or wanted to have. He focused on the here and now more than on the what and ifs. The spirits, he determined, had deemed that he would not have a mate or family. It was the only explanation he could put his trust in, or he would have had it by now. 

The worlds beyond the one he’d created for himself didn’t matter anymore. As time passed, didn’t want to. That boy who couldn’t wait to get away from his tribe rejected their beliefs, had now found himself taking great comfort in the knowledge he’d gleaned from its teachings. He had changed.

He had been tracking the same buck for three days. He did need the fresh meat but wasn’t in danger of starving. The vegetables he’d managed to grow and store along with the dried boar and venison he’d put away would keep him going for another three or four weeks. Fresh meat when he could get it was always best. 

The buck had managed to outsmart him so far. Staying away from his traps, keeping upwind of him. The weather was cold, close to freezing, but never seemed to dip much lower than the 37 degrees Fahrenheit. A handmade fur jacket and hood were all he really needed for warmth. He’d gotten good and making his own clothing from animal skins, so much so that little of the skins ever went to waste. 

He laid on his stomach in the blind with his bow, a quiver of arrows nearby. Keeping his eyes open for the buck who had been taunting him, knowing he normally came this way in the evening in search of his next meal. Then he heard it, the breaking of twigs underfoot. Closing his eyes, he listened, allowing his ears to take over. There were at least two, and they weren’t deer, they were human. How long had it been since he’d seen another person? They were still far away, maybe about half a mile based on his estimates, not even trying to hide their approach. The buck would have been scared off by the noise, another evening wasted. 

He considered hiding until they passed, maybe trying his luck with a boar, but with all the noise even they would be scarce. He could go home, check the traps for a wild rabbit. Finish tanning the skins he’d collected. They had already been soaking in a saltwater solution for nearly four days and it was time to lay it out and begin the next step in the curing process. 

Whoever they were would find him eventually, they were headed in the direction of his home. His nearest neighbor was thirty miles away outside of the forest in the village of Fuefuki. He would sometimes trade with the villagers there for supplies, picking up enough Japanese to hold simple conversations. Although he knew the confrontation would be inevitable, didn’t want to leave the safety of the blind just yet. He wanted to get a look at them first. Only a handful of villagers had been to his home to deliver supplies in the beginning, but once his home had been completed, didn’t return. 

He climbed down, wanting to get closer to the trail. His curiosity getting the better of him. Concealing himself in the trees, he could see them without the danger of exposing himself. He sat patiently waiting, hearing long before seeing them. There were three not two as he originally thought. Two of them were villagers, the third was a mystery but wore Starfleet issue coat, pants, and boots. Their hood was up, obscuring their identity. None seemed to be carrying weapons he could see, but again that didn’t mean anything. 

He decided to confront them now, not wanting the individual from Starfleet to see his home. They had not been invited. Stepping out from the tree line, he began to greet them in Japanese. The villagers apologized for the intrusion, bowing to him with respect, which he did in return. 

“We have a woman with us who insisted she needed to see you.” The first man stated the second one seemed to be comfortable allowing him to do all the talking. 

“I see. Who is the woman?” He asked, but before the man could reply she stepped forward and pulled down her hood. 

“It’s me, Kathryn. It’s good to see you.”

He nodded, forcing himself to take a step back. He wouldn’t do this to himself, not again. “What did you want?” He asked all business.

She seemed slightly hurt by his response, “You disappeared without so much as a goodbye. I searched for you, but no one knew where you were.”

“Did you consider that maybe that was the point?” He was being defensive, and he knew it, his heartbroken too many times to feel otherwise. She stood there stunned, saying nothing. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, he just wanted to be left alone. “I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. I just needed to be alone. You can tell anyone who asks about me that I’m still alive, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell them where I was. I’d hate to have to move.”

She appeared saddened and angered by his words. “Chakotay, it took me two years to find you. I don’t think I’ve ever been so worried about anyone in my life, and the minute I see you all you can ask is what do I want? Tell me that you’re prepared to move on if I disclose your location to anyone?” He didn’t reply. “I’ll tell you what I want. I wanted to see my friend. I wanted to make sure you weren’t dead,” her voice catching slightly on the last word.

The two villagers were extremely uncomfortable, looking as if they wanted to be anywhere else. It wasn’t fair to them. “Thank you for caring enough to come looking for me. I do appreciate it, but I think it’s time you start heading back to the village before it gets too late. It was good to see you, Kathryn. Take care of yourself,” He thanked the men and bowed, which they did in return. 

He turned to go but she didn’t move, standing there stubbornly, angrily. “That’s it? You’re just going to dismiss me?”

Slightly exasperated he turned back to her. “What is it you want from me, Kathryn? I’m just trying to live my life, what’s left of it, in a way that brings peace. Is that too much to ask?”

“I didn’t know you felt this way,” she replied softly, “I had hoped…”

For a moment he wanted to go to her, comfort her, but resisted the urge. “I can’t do this, not again.” He said before turning away, heading for his home.

Now she was genuinely confused. “Can’t do what again?” She questioned following him. 

Without looking at her he called back over his shoulder. “Forget I said anything, just go home Kathryn and let me be.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she answered stubborn as ever, “So you have two choices, you can leave me here and I’ll still be showing up at your home, or you can take me with you.”

He stopped and looked up at the sky, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. After a moment, he turned toward her and called to the villagers, advising them they could go and they started to leave, “Come on then,” he said before turning away again. She smiled, feeling a small victory had been won and followed.

It had taken nearly an hour to make it to his home, and there wasn’t much talking other than simple niceties. As the small one-room cabin came into view, she was finally able to see how’d he been surviving over the last two years. He seemed to be doing quite well for himself. Following him inside, he hung up his bow and quiver before heading to the stone fireplace. All that was left were embers, he began restoking the fire, adding more wood. 

Taking off his fur hooded jacket and hanging it on a hook attached to a support beam, could see his bare chest. He was toned, the muscles well defined from hard work. A few scars moved across the contours of his arms. A massive ugly scar extending from the middle of his back and across the right side of his ribcage immediately caught her attention the moment he’d turned away from her again.

“What happened there?” She asked.

“Where?” He asked looking around.

“The scar on your back.”

“Oh. It’s nothing,” He answered, resuming his work in the tiny kitchen space. 

“Doesn’t look like nothing,” she replied, “In fact, it looks like it could have killed you.”

For a while, she didn’t expect to receive a reply as she took a seat at the hand-carved table and bench set. “It happened about three months after I moved here. I was hunting boar with a few spears as my father taught me. I wasn’t listening as well as I should have before I knew it, I was on the ground with the wind knocked out of me. I didn’t even notice it had gouged me until after I was back on my feet.”

“That’s horrifying, how did you survive it?” She found her feelings of fear over the last two years to be justified. Wishing she’d been able to find him sooner. 

“I had to get creative,” He said with a shrug of his broad muscled shoulders, “The gouge looked worse than it actually was. The subsequent infection that happened because of the injury was worse,” Turning back around, he set a plate in front of her with dried venison, precooked vegetables, and fresh fruit. Taking the seat across from her, he sat down in front of his own plate and began to eat. 

The fire was warming the room quite nicely. Removing her jacket, she laid it over the bench beside her. “It almost killed you didn’t it? The infection.” She queried, picking up a slice of pear and took a bite. 

“How’s the food?” He asked, changing the subject and she knew it.

Putting her hands in her lap she ignored his question, considering he wasn’t really looking for an answer. “Why did you leave?” She asked and he dropped the piece of venison back onto his plate, suddenly losing his appetite and held his head between his hands, his eyes staring down at it. She had to be honest with him, she’d invited this confrontation and she had thought about this for two years, ever since she’d realized he was gone. “I searched everywhere I could think of for you. Every place you’d ever mentioned. After the first year, all my trails went cold. The promotion to Vice Admiral helped expand the tools at my disposal, giving me access to resources I’d never known were there. Almost another year went by, and I was beginning to lose hope until I received an unobtrusive report about a man who had gotten permission to move into the Aokigahara forest. He had been living there for two years it said. So, I began making inquiries with the local government, leading me here to you.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Kathryn.”

She continued like she hadn’t heard him, “I was devastated when I learned you were gone, and part of me was angry with Seven for the way she’d broke things off with you. I’m sure that didn’t help the situation any. I know what I’m about to say may sound awful, but a large part of me was glad because it meant I could tell you how I really felt.”

Without warning he stood up and went outside, unwilling to hear anymore. She was stunned for a moment, then moved to follow. Standing in the doorway, she couldn’t see him. It was getting much darker here, and faster than she anticipated. “Chakotay, I’m trying to tell you that I love you.” She called out helplessly, searching for some sign of him in the darkness.

“Damnit, Kathryn. I was just starting to feel like myself again. I was almost over you; did you know that? I’d felt myself starting to let go of that fantasy, and here you are stirring up every emotion I’ve been trying to purge myself of. When we were on Voyager, I thought about you constantly, how could I not when I saw you nearly every day. And occasionally, I’d see the veil begin to pull away and thought maybe one day you might return those feelings. Seven was just the last straw in a long line of failed relationships and unrequited feelings. I’m tired of being hurt Kathryn, my heart is done. Now you come all the way out here just to stir up those feelings again. Well, I can’t do it; I won’t take the chance you’ll wake up tomorrow and say it was a mistake. My heart doesn’t have the strength to hope anymore.”

She could hear the pain in his voice, the hopelessness. It caused an immediate panic as the turbulent emotions swirled within her heart. “Do you think I would have spent two years searching for you if I weren’t sure? I’ve been in love with you for years Chakotay. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you. I certainly wasn’t going to complicate your life any further while you were seeing Seven. I promised myself that if the two of you ever parted, I would tell you how I felt. I wanted to tell you two years ago but you left before I got the chance.”

“I’m not sure I have the strength left to believe that” He replied. 

She screamed startled and jumped back through the doorframe. Somehow, he had managed to get right beside her without notice. Stepping through, she reached out and grasped his hand, pulling him inside and closed the door, he didn’t put up a fight. It was the first time she’d touched him, stood this close to him in two years and she was finding it hard to resist exploring further. This could be her last chance, and if it were, she wasn’t going to waste it by playing it safe. The love she had for him was wild and unpredictable. 

Placing her hands on his chest, they slid slowly upward. “I need you Chakotay,” she whispered, moving closer as her hands found the back of his neck, pulling him toward her. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you.” Her lips touched his neck, kissing slowly. “Please try one more time.” She pleaded, just before her mouth found his. 

The kiss was explosive, the passion undeniable. Lifting her up, he pushed her up against the wall before letting her feet find solid ground. His hands urgently explored her body, as if at any moment he’d be denied access. She held him as close as he’d allow, her mouth pressed against his greedily, his arousal pressed against her stomach. Her lungs needed oxygen, turning her head slightly she whispered. “I need to feel you inside me, please.”

He pulled back completely, putting distance between them. “I…can't.”

She was breathing heavily, her chest heaving. “What?”

He was breathing just as heavily, his arousal evident. “Please try to understand. You don’t know how much I want to. How many times I’ve envisioned this moment, but I just can’t take the risk of…” Then he bent over, emotion overriding speech. His hands resting on his knees as he shuttered. 

There had to be some way to prove to him what she’d been saying was being said from a place of certainty and love. She hadn’t realized until now how deep his pain went, and how complicit she was in its affliction. Without a word, she began taking her clothes off.

When he looked up, he was confused. “What are you doing?”

“I told you,” she replied continuing to undress, “I’m in love with you. I’ve waited for you. I have no intention of backing out of anything. I need you; I don’t know how else to make that any clearer.” Taking off the last article, she dropped it on the floor and headed for his bed, slipping under the covers sitting up. “I’m not letting you out of my sight again. It damn near killed me the way that infection almost killed you.”

“You’re being foolish.” He said straightening. 

“No, that’s the last thing I’m being. You have no idea how much your absence affected me. If anyone could have told me where you were, I would have given up everything, my rank, career, as long as it meant I was with you.” She said lying down. “You’re stuck with me Chakotay, and it’s no good trying to tell me that you don’t share those feelings after everything you’ve said, and even if you never said a word you told me everything I needed to know through that kiss. The way you touched me, your body giving away your desires.”

She was right, but he was also afraid of what it would mean for him to let go, to open his heart one last time. Slowly he made his way to the bed and sat down with his back to her. Sitting up, she turned toward him, the fingers of her right hands trailing the scar across his back. Moving to her knees, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. Her lips a breath away from his ear. “You weren’t the only one who’s been waiting. I won’t lose you again.” Leaning down she kissed his shoulder lovingly before resting her head against his. 

His body was betraying him, his mind, but his heart was taking longer to reciprocate. He reached up and patted her hands gently before turning his body to face her. He could see it in her eyes, the pain he’d caused by leaving. He had no idea how much it had hurt her, and he suddenly hated himself. He’d never meant or thought he would ever cause her this kind of pain from his absence. His heart, fragile as it was, found the strength to let her in once more. Taking her into his arms he kissed her slowly, passionately, before slipping off the rest of his clothing and sliding into bed with her.

Taking her back into his arms, he showed her as much as she showed him, the depth of his love. At this moment, their hearts became one.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Members, as well as guests, are free and able to leave comments on any of my work.


End file.
